What Is Fine Dining Etiquette?

Fine dining etiquette is a refined set of behaviours and manners expected of diners in upscale or formal dining establishments. This article guides you through the importance of fine dining etiquette and lists easy-to-follow guidelines to follow this ritual. 

After reading this article, you will fully be able to enjoy exceptional meals at fine dining restaurants with confidence and grace.

Why Is Fine Dining Etiquette Important?

Fine dining etiquette can significantly enhance your dining experiences and leave a lasting impression on those around you. Learning this skill can bring you immense benefits.

Indulge In Elevated Dining Experiences: Fine dining etiquette is the language of dining sophistication. It enables you to partake in eclectic fine dining degustation meals effortlessly. Wouldn’t you want to experience authentic and exceptional culinary fare prepared by some of the world’s most high-profile and expert chefs at least once?

Seal Business Deals With Flair: Exhibiting fine dining etiquette can convey a sense of high social status and sophistication. When you effortlessly navigate formal dining settings and display polished manners, it suggests that you are accustomed to upscale environments and that such behaviour is second nature to you. This can make your clients perceive you as someone well-educated, refined, and accustomed to conducting business in elevated social circles. It gives you an intangible soft power and a competitive edge.

Create Memorable Personal Moments: Fine dining restaurants often serve as the preferred venue for intimate dinners. Your knowledge of fine dining etiquette can be an easy route to impress your date. Your refined manners reflect positively on your personality and create a delectable dining experience for your romantic partner and you.

19 Fine Dining Etiquette Rules To Follow

We have carefully organised the rules in the proper sequence so that this section becomes a mind map for you as you prepare to dine at a fine dining restaurant.

  1. Reservations: Call the fine dining restaurant or reserve your seat online. You can contact the restaurant to make a reservation either by phone or through their website. Arrive on time. If there are any changes to your reservation or if you need to cancel, inform the restaurant at your earliest.
  2. Dress Code: Before dining, check the website or call ahead to inquire about the dress code. Choose attire that aligns with the upscale atmosphere, like suits, dresses, or formal attire. Maintain a polished appearance and accessorise appropriately.
  3. Seating: When you enter the restaurant, look for the host or hostess stationed near the entrance. If you are the host then it’s a good practice to wait for your guests. The host always leads the guests to the table and pulls out the chair for them as a gesture of hospitality.
  4. Napkin Etiquette: Once you’re seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. It’s not just about keeping your clothes clean; it’s a sign of respect for the dining experience. If you need to excuse yourself from the table, place your napkin on your chair. It signals that you’ll be back.
  5. Menu Handling: When you receive the menu, handle it with care and avoid making any marks or stains on it. Read it quietly. If you have any questions about the dishes or ingredients, feel free to politely ask your server for clarification.
  6. Ordering: When placing your order, speak clearly and confidently. It’s courteous to order all courses at once, including appetisers, main courses, and desserts, rather than ordering each course separately. If you have dietary restrictions or preferences, inform your server discreetly to ensure they can accommodate your needs.
  7. Bread and Butter: If bread and butter are served, use the butter knife to spread butter onto a small portion of your bread plate at a time. Don’t spread it directly onto the bread. Tear off bite-sized pieces of bread and butter them individually as you eat, rather than buttering the entire slice at once.
  8. Utensil Usage: You’ll find multiple sets of utensils arranged around your plate. Work from the outside in. Begin with the outermost utensils for the first course and progress inward with each subsequent course. For example, use the outermost fork for the appetiser and the outermost spoon for soup or salad.
  9. Eating Technique: When eating, bring food to your mouth using the appropriate utensil, rather than leaning over your plate. Cut your food into bite-sized pieces before consuming it. Avoid making excessive noise while chewing. Pace your eating to match the pace of your dining companions.
  10. Wine Service: If wine is being served, the sommelier or waiter might present the bottle to you for inspection before pouring. It’s a chance to appreciate the selection and ensure everything is to your liking before taking that first sip. 

If you’re not familiar with wine, don’t worry! Simply express appreciation when the sommelier or waiter presents the wine bottle to you. You can ask them for recommendations based on your preferences or the dishes you’ll be enjoying. 

Feel free to raise questions or concerns about the wine selection. Once satisfied, approve the selection and appreciate the aroma before enjoying the wine.

  1. Conversation: Avoid topics that might stir up controversy or make others uncomfortable. Fine dining conversation is about creating a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere for everyone.
  2. Cell Phones: Try to refrain from constantly checking your phone or taking calls during the meal. It’s a way of showing respect for the experience and those around you.
  3. Passing Dishes: If dishes are being shared family-style, pass them to your left, unless instructed otherwise by your host or server. Use the serving utensils to transfer food onto your plate, and not your utensils.
  4. Dining Posture: Put your elbows close to your body. Avoid slouching or leaning on the table. This can appear disrespectful and disrupt the flow of the meal.
  5. Interacting with Staff: Treat the restaurant staff respectfully and courteously throughout your dining experience. Refrain from snapping your fingers or raising your voice to get their attention. If you need assistance, politely make eye contact with a server or use a subtle hand gesture.
  6. Dealing with Issues: If you encounter any issues with your meal or service, address them discreetly and courteously with your server or the restaurant manager. Avoid causing a scene or speaking loudly in the restaurant, as this can disrupt the dining experience for others.
  7. Dessert and Coffee: If you want to indulge in dessert or coffee, wait until everyone at the table has finished their main course before ordering. When enjoying dessert, use the appropriate utensils provided. Refrain from using your fingers unless it’s a handheld dessert like cookies or fruit.
  8. After-Dinner Etiquette: Once you’ve finished your meal, place your utensils parallel to each other on your plate, with the handles facing the bottom right corner. This signals to the server that you’ve finished eating. If you need to leave the table, politely excuse yourself and thank your dining companions for the enjoyable meal.
  9. Tipping: Tipping is a way of showing appreciation for the service you’ve received. It’s customary to tip between 15% and 20% of the total bill in many countries. Tipping is a way of acknowledging the hard work and effort put in by the restaurant staff to make your dining experience memorable.

Fine Dining Etiquette FAQ

We asked Jean-Benoît Isselé, (Chef Sommelier and Maitre of Ubud’s fine dining restaurant; Apéritif) for his advice on fine dining etiquette. Here are his answers to some of our most frequently asked questions about fine dining etiquette:

What is the dress code at a fine dining restaurant, and how strictly is it enforced?

I recommend dressing smartly to match the elegant ambience of the restaurant. If in doubt, consult with the restaurant’s website or phone ahead and ask about their dress codes to avoid any embarrassment or refusal to the venue.

How far in advance should I make a reservation at a fine dining restaurant, especially for special occasions?

I recommend making reservations as early as possible, especially for special occasions or during peak dining hours. Reserving a table in advance ensures that the establishment can provide you with the best possible dining experience.

Can I make special dietary requests or accommodations when dining at a fine dining restaurant?

At most fine dining restaurants, this shouldn’t be a problem. Simply inform your server of any special requests or dietary needs, and the kitchen will do its best to tailor your dining experience accordingly. If in doubt, you can call ahead and advise them ahead of time to allow plenty of notice so they can best cater to your needs.

Is it customary to tip at a fine dining restaurant?

Tipping is voluntary and a personal choice. If you feel that the establishment, staff, food or experience exceeded your expectations, then a tip is always a nice way to show your gratitude.

Do fine dining restaurants offer recommendations for wine selection to accompany the dining experience?

Top fine dining establishments have experienced sommelier’s available to assist you in selecting the perfect wine to complement your meal.

Otherwise, servers and staff are usually well-trained and can make recommendations based on your preferences, budget, and the dishes you’ll be enjoying. Feel free to ask the restaurant in advance if you have a particular preference in mind.

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Our dress code recommendation is smart to formal. We just ask that you please refrain from wearing sports clothing or beachwear, including singlets and flip-flops. Apéritif is fully air-conditioned.



Lunch | 12noon – 2pm* Sat-Tue

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