Understanding fine dining etiquette for servers is critical for maintaining the restaurant’s reputation and professionalism, and ensuring guests leave feeling joyous.
When you master serving etiquette, you:
- Help improve team coordination.
- Are better equipped to handle guests professionally during difficult situations.
- Become an asset to the restaurant.
- Build strong relationships with guests.
- Stand a greater chance of rising the ranks within the industry quickly.
At Apéritif Restaurant, our guests rave about every aspect of their experience. A majority of them share positive reviews about our exceptional client service. That’s why, we’re here with 23 essential fine dining etiquette guidelines to help servers provide great service with pride.
1. Personal Well-being
- Ensure you’ve rested well before work. A tired or unwell server can’t provide the best service. Plus, it reflects badly on the restaurant’s treatment towards its employees.
- Maintain a positive attitude throughout your work shift. Servers are the face of the restaurant. Your charming and cheerful demeanour can significantly improve the dining experience for guests.
2. Professional Appearance
- Dress neatly and professionally. Wear a clean, ironed and well-fitted uniform. Neatly style your hair. Trim your nails. Polish your shoes. If you have a beard, trim or shape it neatly. Avoid wearing too-powerful perfume. Remove jewellery during service.
- Avoid touching guests as well as yourself. If you need to adjust your apron or dress, do it out of the guests’ sight.
- Avoid pointing towards a guest if they ask for the restroom’s location. Instead, gesture with an open hand to indicate the direction or guide them partway.
- Avoid slouching. Don’t cross your arms or put them in your pockets.
- Avoid long informal conversations with guests however friendly they are with you. While talking to them, maintain a comfortable distance that ensures you’re neither too close nor too far.
- Don’t chew gum in front of guests.
- Carry yourself smartly and professionally.
3. Preparation for Service
- Put the dining room in order before the dinner service begins. This practice ensures the dinner service proceeds smoothly and without any hindrance.
- Inspect tableware for chips, irregularities, and dirt.
- Ensure cutlery is polished and doesn’t have any water spots. Wear white server gloves while polishing cutlery to eliminate fingerprints.
- Set up the server station (mise en place) with additional cutlery. This practice is all the more helpful when you have to place new cutlery on the table according to the diner’s meal. For example, if a diner has ordered fish then you need to place a fish knife and fork. If they’ve ordered, you need to place an oyster fork.
- Ensure the dining tables are wiped properly.
- Switch on the necessary mood lighting before dinner service begins.
4. Table Setting
- Set the table according to the restaurant’s standards before guests arrive. An excellent table setting signals to the guests that the restaurant’s service will be refined and professional.
- Adjust the table setting according to the guests’ specific needs (e.g., left-handed guests) to ensure their comfort.
5. Handling Cutlery
- Avoid touching the parts of the cutlery that will contact with food. Hold cutlery by the handles and plates by the edges or bottom. Avoid fingerprints on the glassware and flatware by holding them by the stem.
- Align cutlery on the table neatly and within the guests’ easy reach.
- Ensure a distance of a minimum of 24 inches between two diners at the table for their comfort.
- Maintain symmetry of all utensils at the table.
6. Welcoming Guests
- Greet guests as soon as you see them arriving at the restaurant. A ‘good day’ or ‘good evening’ is apt.
- Smile warmly and make direct eye contact with them to make them feel welcome and important.
- Address guests respectfully, using ‘Sir’, ‘Madam’ or their names, if you’re aware.
- Help them adjust their seats if needed, ensuring they are comfortable.
- Be attentive to the dining room’s temperature. Adjust it upon guests’ request.
7. Taking Orders
- Approach the table with food and drinks menus in hand. Present the menu to the diners. Hand it to the women first, followed by the men. The host comes last.
- Be knowledgeable about all menu items. This includes ingredients, preparation methods, and wine pairings. This helps in providing accurate recommendations.
- Inform guests of any specials or chef’s recommendations. Answer their queries. In case you’re unable to answer them satisfactorily, bring in a senior for help.
- Ask guests for any dietary restrictions or allergies when taking their order. If regular guests have specific likes or dislikes, remember and accommodate them to make them feel special. Suggest suitable alternatives for guests with dietary restrictions or preferences.
- When taking orders, stand at a comfortable distance. Listen carefully to any special requests or complaints without interrupting.
- Repeat the order to confirm.
Make eye contact with the diners and smile warmly. Your body language must tell them that you’re happy to offer them a memorable dining experience.
8. Communication With the Kitchen
- Communicate orders to the kitchen clearly and precisely. Mention the special requests or modifications.
- Coordinate with the kitchen to make sure that the chefs prepare the courses for your guests at the appropriate time.
9. Serving Meals
- Use the open-hand service method, i.e. avoid crossing your arms in front of a guest.
Usually, restaurants have a preferred side for serving diners. If your restaurant follows no specific practice then use your right arm when serving from the right side of a diner. Similarly, use your left hand when you’re serving from the left. In this way, your active arm doesn’t reach across a diner.
- Match the pace of your guests by seeing their body language. For example, if all the guests have placed napkins on their laps, it typically means they’re expecting you.
- Serve courses at a pace that allows guests to enjoy their meals. Typically, allow a few minutes between courses.
- Clear the table of unnecessary items before serving the next course.
- Wish the guests when you come to know that they’re dining to celebrate a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary. Offer a small complimentary gesture like a dessert.
- Ask diners unobtrusively after serving the meal, if everything is to their liking.
- Be attentive to the guests’ needs while respecting their space. Anticipate needs, such as refilling water glasses, without being intrusive.
- Be calm, warm and polite at all times.
10. Serving Wine
- Bring the wine bottle, wine glasses, a wine bucket with ice and a corkscrew.
- Confirm with the guest if you’ve brought the right wine.
- Hold the wine bottle such that the label faces the guest who ordered it. Wait for the guest to approve.
- Uncork the bottle. The cork’s wet side must be up.
- Don’t serve wine to all the guests. First, pour a small sample of the wine for the guest who ordered it. After this guest approves, pour wine for the rest of the table.
- Pour the wine in a clockwise direction around the table. Pour wine for the ladies first.
- As you pour, don’t touch the wine glasses that are placed on the table.
- Discreetly remove the glass from the table if a guest doesn’t wish to have wine.
11. Resting Cutlery Etiquette
Resting cutlery etiquette is a form of silent communication in formal dining.
Guests place their utensils on the dinner plate in specific ways to indicate their requirements to the server. When you understand this etiquette well, you can meet the guests’ needs without disrupting their conversation.
| What the Guest Wants to Say | How Does the Guest Say |
| Ready for the next meal. | Positioning the fork and knife parallelly. They’re placed across the plate’s centre. |
| Want to leave the table temporarily but want the plate to stay. | Placing the knife and fork on top of the plate, like an inverted V. |
| The food is excellent. | Positioning the knife and fork horizontally on top of the plate. The blade and tines face to the right. |
| The food is not good. | Placing the knife and fork on top of the plate, like an inverted V. But, the knife is inserted inside the tines of the fork. |
| The meal is finished. | Placing the fork and knife side by side. They’re positioned in a vertical position on top of their plate. |
12. Seeking Feedback
- After the meal, politely ask guests for feedback. Convey this feedback to your senior or manager.
- Apologise sincerely for any inconvenience. Offer a concrete solution. If the complaint is serious, inform the manager immediately to ensure the issue is resolved quickly.
13. Presenting the Check
- Approach the table and politely ask the guests if they’re ready for the check. Present the check in a check presenter.
- Thank the guests for dining at the restaurant and express hope to see them again soon.
14. Handling Tips
Thank guests politely when they leave a tip. Don’t look at the tip amount at the table. Handle credit cards and cash securely. Double-check the payment before processing to avoid errors.
15. Clearing the Table
- Use a table crumber to swipe table crumbs. Place the collected crumbs onto a small plate between courses as needed. Clear the table from the guest’s right side. Follow a clockwise order. Do your job quietly without interfering with guests’ conversation.
- Clear away any item that won’t be used during the next course.
- Start clearing the table at the end after all guests are done with their course.
- Remove any used flatware.
- Avoid stacking dishes while clearing the table. Remove each plate from the table one at a time. Stack it on a tray out of the guests’ direct sight.
- Remove plates and cutlery gently to avoid noise.
16. Cleanliness and Hygiene
- Sanitise your hands after handling used plates or visiting restrooms.
- Keep an eye out for any spills or messes in the dining area and clean them up promptly.
17. Managing Large Parties or Peak Hours
Synchronise your service with the rest of the staff when serving large parties. Make sure none of the guests feels neglected.
18. Dealing with Difficult Situations
Remain calm and professional. Avoid arguing with the guest. Ask your senior to intervene if the situation escalates. Attempt to resolve the issue amicably.
19. Providing Information
- Be knowledgeable about the town or neighbourhood. This information can be helpful when tourist diners ask for suggestions. As an ambassador of the restaurant, your beneficial conversation showcases that you’re keen to ensure your guests’ delight completely.
- Share interesting facts about the restaurant’s history or unique features if guests express interest.
- Be well-versed in the restaurant’s policies regarding reservations, cancellations, and special requests.
20. Knowledge of Emergency Procedures
Be aware of basic first aid procedures. You may not need it often, but it’s good to be aware. Know how to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre if a guest is choking.
21. Handling Lost Items
If a guest leaves behind an item, secure it immediately and record the details. Try to contact the guest if possible.
22. Emotional Intelligence
Be patient with difficult or indecisive guests. Assist them in selecting courses or providing guidance in the best possible manner. Ensure they feel valued and respected throughout their dining experience.
23. Table Service Types
Be aware of different table service types in fine dining. Each of them has unique rules and traditions.
A] French Service
French service is an elegant form of service in fine dining. It’s categorised into two types:
Cart Service
Servers set up a gueridon (a small portable table) with the necessary ingredients and equipment near the dining table. Dishes are partially or fully prepared in front of the guests. They serve food to the guests as they make their selections.
Servers cook hot foods on a hot plate placed on a gueridon. They assemble cold foods like salad on just the gueridon. They serve food directly from the gueridon to the guest’s plate, typically from the right side.
Servers plate the finished foods onto individual plates. They serve them to guests from the right.
Banquet Service
Servers bring large platters of food from the kitchen. They serve food from the platter to the guests from the left side.
B] Russian Service
Servers cook food on a gueridon near the dining table like French cart service. However, instead of serving food directly to the guests’ plates, they place the food on silver platters and pass the platters at the tableside. Food is served from the left side. Platters are passed at the table. Guests serve themselves.
C] Buttlered Service
The server carries a tray of food or drinks, offering them directly to guests. They walk around the table, offering the tray to each guest. Guests help themselves to the items on the tray, which can include hors d’oeuvres, drinks, or desserts.
Butler service is often used for special occasions and VIP guests, where servers provide personalised attention.
D] American Style Service
American Style Service is the most common type of service in fine-dining restaurants. All dishes are fully prepared and beautifully plated in the kitchen.
Servers carry plates from the kitchen to the dining area. They serve guests from the right side of the guests, starting with women, then men, and finally the host.
D] English Style Service
English-style service is typically found in private dining rooms.
The server brings food on platters to the table. At first, they show the platters to the host for approval and then place the platters on the tables. The host makes food portions and serves the guests. Alternatively, they ask the server to serve.
Server Etiquette Case Studies
After presenting the guidelines, we’re sharing three case studies to help you understand how to navigate real-life challenges effectively.
Case Study #1: Managing Guest Allergies
A guest informs you that they have a severe shellfish allergy and asks if any dishes on the menu contain shellfish.
What would your approach be?
a) Inform the guest of any obvious dishes containing shellfish.
b) Reassure the guest that you will inform the kitchen of their allergy.
c) Both of the above options.
d) Only (a).
e) Only (b).
If you selected option (c), you’re following the common approach for servers.
While this approach addresses the immediate concern of informing the guest and the kitchen about the allergy, it may not consider hidden ingredients or cross-contamination risks in other dishes. This oversight could potentially compromise the guest’s safety. It isn’t thorough or proactive.
Suggested Approach:
To ensure the guest’s safety and well-being, we recommend a comprehensive approach including additional steps:
- Thank the guest for informing you of their allergy. Recommend dishes that are known to be free of shellfish.
- Let the kitchen staff know about the guest’s allergy. Emphasise the importance of avoiding cross-contamination.
- After placing the guest’s order, follow up with the kitchen to ensure that they have taken the necessary precautions to accommodate the allergy.
Case Study #2: Handling a Dissatisfied Guest
A guest approaches you and expresses dissatisfaction with their meal. They state that it’s undercooked and lacks flavour.
What would your approach be after apologising to the guest?
a) Offer to replace the dish with a different one
b) Ask the kitchen for a replacement dish to be prepared.
c) Offer the guest a complimentary item.
d) All of (a), (b) and (c)
e) Any one of (a), (b) or (c).
If you selected option (d), you’re following the common approach for servers.
This approach addresses the immediate concern of addressing the guest’s dissatisfaction and offering a solution. However, it may overlook the underlying issue or fail to prevent similar incidents in the future.
Suggested Approach:
We recommend the following steps:
- Sincerely apologise to the guest for the dissatisfaction.
- Acknowledge their feedback and assure them that you’ll attend to their complaint immediately.
- Communicate the guest’s feedback to the kitchen staff and ask for their input on the issue.
- Ask the guest if they would like another plate of the same dish or a different dish.
- Offer the guest a complimentary drink or dessert as a gesture of goodwill.
- Follow up with the guest after addressing their concerns and resolving the issue to ensure that they are satisfied with the resolution and their overall dining experience.
- Follow up with the kitchen to understand what went wrong and what steps they will take in the future to avoid such errors.
Case Study #3: Handling a Reservation Mix-Up
A guest arrives with a reservation for a party of four. However, due to a mix-up in the booking system, there is no available table for them at the requested time.
What would your approach be?
a) Apologise to the guest and explain the situation to them.
b) Ask them to wait for a table to open up or to come back later.
c) Offer the guest a discount or a complimentary drink.
d) All of (a), (b) and (c)
e) Any one of (a), (b) or (c).
If you selected option (d), you’re following the common approach for servers.
This approach addresses the immediate concern of addressing the reservation mix-up and offering solutions to accommodate the guest. However, it may not fully address the guest’s frustration or inconvenience caused by the error in the booking system.
Suggested Approach: We recommend the following steps:
- Apologise sincerely to the guest for the inconvenience. Acknowledge the frustration caused by the reservation mix-up.
- Offer the guest a complimentary drink or appetiser as a gesture of goodwill while they wait for a table to become available.
- Communicate with your manager to expedite the process of rearranging seating arrangements or offering a table soon.
- Inform the guest about the status. Be cordial to them. Assure them that you’re prioritising their satisfaction.
- If necessary, offer the guest a discount or complimentary meal to compensate for the inconvenience caused by the reservation mix-up.
- Investigate the cause of the error and work with the manager to implement checks in the reservation system to prevent such errors from occurring in the future.
- Don’t give false hope to the guests just to be nice. They will be more livid for wasting their time.
- If you’re unable to arrange a table for the guest at a later time or they decide to leave, inform the guest of alternative dining arrangements nearby. Offer to assist them in making a reservation at another restaurant.
